My Arranged Marriage

Ellie at her classiest...

We met for the first time in July 2011. Nobody told us about the other. We just happened to be sitting next to each other chatting when we realized – we were about to embark on an experience that neither of us could have predicted – we were entering an arranged marriage. I mean, I grew up in a small city in South Alberta (insert joke about the religious leanings of my home town here). She grew up in Eastern Europe (insert joke about mail order brides from Eastern Europe here) and came to Canada as a teenager. Neither of us thought that we would succumb to the life of an arranged marriage, but here we were. 

I was bound and determined to teach Ellie the basics of rugby.
I realised this past weekend, I only partially succeeded. 

Sitting in that room in Gatineau, chatting, we realized that Ian, not my parents, not her parents, but Ian of the CBA had set us up. The next time we would see each other, after only having spend a handful of hours together, the next time we met, would be it. That would be the day it would become official. We would be sent away to Durban, South Africa. And there was not much we could do about it. I think we both left Ottawa hoping that things would work out for the best. I mean really, who knows how such an arrangement could end up? From bliss to disaster really I guess. And so we were on our way…our experience in an arranged marriage.

Hiking the the Berg.

Ok, all joking aside, this is my little “Ode to Ellie”. If you’ve been following my blog since September, you will have noticed the constant companion in my life for the past seven months. Ellie and I met, like I said above, on the first day of training in Ottawa last July. We just happened to sit next to each other. She promptly asked where I was going, I said I didn’t know for sure, but it looked like Durban. She said she was going to Durban. In reality I think she was still in the slight state of flux waiting for her placement to be confirmed, but whether the CBA liked it or not, Ellie was going to Durban.

By mid-internship, we had perfected the jumping. 

I arrived on the plane from Dubai three days after Ellie had arrived via Washington and Dakar. When I came out of the arrivals gate, it took me a minute before I saw this girl waving her arms and saying, “Oh, I’m so glad you are here!” I didn’t recognize her at first. When we had met before she had blond hair, now it was brown. But we made our way back to the place we were ‘temporarily’ staying (this turned into our long term residence). I have to say, Ellie’s sentiments that first day, the I’m so glad you are here, were the emotions repeated on numerous occasions; the good and the bad.

This was our first dinner together in Durban.

We’ve been through a lot together in the past seven months. Ellie has joined an eclectic group of people – Fede and Naama, Melanie and Simon, Tristan and Siobhan, Halina and the Wloka family, John and Jim, Jake and Katherine, and my mom and dad. If you’ve followed my travels before, you will recognize some of these names. Some were friends long before we shared an adventure, others have become life-long friends after sharing these adventures; and others will always be part of the memories I have of my adventures even if we don’t really keep in touch now. But, each of these people have shared an adventure with me; have shared a love of mine; have shared part of my life. And now there is Ellie.

LHR Christmas Party

I have to say, some of my favourite memories of my time here in South Africa with Ellie are the mundane - getting through the entire series of Sex and the City and almost up to the end of season 4 of Grey’s Anatomy or our trips down to Suncoast for fitness classes and our daily bus rides to and from work discussing what had happened that day or what was going to happen that day. But there are also those moments that will be forever special – climbing the ladders to the top of Tugela Falls; going on safari; adventuring into Lesotho; or learning to 'surf'. Like my many other travel partners, we have had moments that will always connect the two of us and will always be treasured.

Ladder up to the source of the Tugela Falls

The Amphitheatre in the Drakensberg

Chilling in Lesotho

At the top of Sani Pass with our mini Lesotho Hats

Beware of Lions, but still get the pose right. 

Our last SA adventure

We’ve also been through the not so great times – helping each other deal with our mugging, managing the fears of being in such a crime-ridden country, mourning the death of a family pet while so far away from home, and just missing our families and friends. Although we didn’t know each other hardly at all when we arrived in Durban in September, through the good and the bad we have really gotten to know each other, the good and the bad.

Christmas decorating in the Durban heat.

Celebrating birthdays far from home.

But what this is really about is saying thank you to Ellie. There are a million reasons that I need to thank this girl, but here are just a few. First, trying to explain my phobia of the legless creatures to others is sometimes a bit of a problem. Some people don’t seem to get what a phobia really is and how debilitating it can be. Ellie didn’t once question how bad it is and I know for a fact on at least one occasion was able to distract me when she saw an enemy species and ensure that I didn’t have a break down then and there (I had already had one earlier in the day when some jerk thought it would be funny to make comments about the animal just outside the door of the lodge). I feel like I reciprocated this care on a few occasions when creatures of many-legs made appearances at our apartment, my favourite incident being the jumpy bug. Second, Ellie made me eat much better than I ever would have had I been left to my own devices. Whether chicken stirfry, chicken drumsticks or spaghetti, we actually ate really well and that is all on account of Ellie. Finally, I want to say thanks for making my time in South Africa a wonderful experience despite some of our setbacks. It was so wonderful to have a flatmate who was so ready to adventure with me and anxious to experience what we could during our time here. And now maybe people here in Durban will stop talking about Gagan and start talking about the great adventures of Ali and Ellie.

King Shaka Day Festival

The sad/happy news is that although our arranged marriage worked out very well (I think we are in the running for the best CBA couple), our marriage will be coming to an end very soon. I think it will be official the moment her wonderful fiancee arrives in Ottawa on Friday. Cesar and Ellie, I wish you guys the very best with your upcoming wedding and even better in your lives together. Ellie, I will greatly miss you I'm sure over the coming months, but you will always hold an important spot in my adventures. And you never know, this may not be our last adventure together. Thanks for a wonderful seven months!

Cape of Good Hope